A page from my Niger Journal, December 11, 2005

So I thought it would be interesting to see what was going through my head during my first trip to Niger.  I think it's good to look back and remind myself just how deep my love for this country goes.

Saturday December 11, 2005

Today I found myself caught up in a love affair.  I don't know yet if it is God speaking to me or just me being caught up in the novelty of my experiences.  I know there is something I am supposed to take from this journey, I'm just not sure what it all means yet.  Or maybe I do know, and that certainty is what surprises me.

These past few days of seeing all that God is doing in Niger has been nothing short of incredible.  Spending time with the missionaries, seeing the countryside, visiting with nationals and doing children's camps has been eye-opening, to say the least.  But here is what got my wheels turning. Today we went and saw a shop that was owned by the church.  The man running the shop was a recently converted Christian.  When he gave his life to Christ, his Muslim family shunned him.  They kicked him out of the home and the family business.  With nowhere else to go, he went to the church.  They took him in and put him in charge of their nearby store.  Working at that store sustained him in many ways.  Not only did it sustain his physical needs, but it also sustained him spiritually.  Now his family is wondering at a church that loves its members so much.  Amazing.  This experience, among others, has caused me to fall in love with the people and the country.

So here is where the love affair begins.  I love it here.  I still am not totally sure if it is God's voice or my own, but I definitely feel something changing in me.  I feel guilty because my first love is Japan.  I love the Japanese people, the friends I have there, their culture, the people in the States I work with and share my love.  I also have a fondness for Latin America after 8 years of studying Spanish and hispanic culture.  But I am definitely in love with all of those things here.  The Teagues are such an amazing couple that are doing such an incredible work.  Rodrigo and Juanita I have loved from the moment I met them.  Boureima and the other pastors are the most loving people I know and I only wish I could communicate better with them.  The younger men of the Master's Commission that I have worked with have become brothers.  The people in the villages are so different.  Maybe it's my white skin, but they are so friendly it's contagious.  The culture speaks for itself.  

But am I betraying my first love?  I have a vision for this country unlike any I have had for Japan or Latin America.  I can see my place here so clearly, creating jobs or training nationals so they could generate their own businesses.  I have ideas of how to prepare myself: learning French, researching African business case studies, studying abroad in Africa.  I have no such vision of my place in Japan or Latin America.  And by coming here I would be joining a work that God is already doing, not seeking to start something new abroad.

I have a lot to ponder over this Christmas break.  All I know for sure is that I am coming back.  My part in God's work here is only beginning.